By: Victoria Tran Sood, elder care and inheritance attorney
Family disputes over an elderly parent’s care or finances should not be fought in court, such as through a conservatorship litigation, but should be resolved in private between family members using mediation, collaborative practice, or both. Most disputes involving an elderly parent’s care or finances play out similarly to the disputes between the wife and daughter of Colombo’s star Peter Falk, who was a four times Emmy winner and Academy Award nominee.
Peter Falk had advanced dementia. His wife of more than 30 years had the authority to make decisions for him under the health care directive and power of attorney for finance that Falk created before he had dementia. His adopted daughter from a prior relationship filed legal paperwork known as conservatorship asking the court to oversee her father’s finances and to allow her visitations. The daughter accused the wife of mistreating Falk and isolating him from the daughter. The family disputes were fought in court for many months and ended in a settlement on the second day of trial. In Peter Falk’s situation, a conservatorship was not necessary but the family invited the court to resolve the family disputes.
During the trial, detailed information about Falk’s mental health (including his inability to recall his role as Colombo) was testified by doctors, Falk’s journal was revealed by his wife to prove strained relationship between Falk and his daughter, and cards and letters from Falk to his daughters were displayed in court by the daughter to show that her relationship with her father was not strained as wife wanted the court to believe. All this and more private information was revealed to the court and thus was available to the public. Had the daughter and wife used mediation or collaborative practice to resolve their family disputes, such personal and private information of Peter Falk and his family would not have been available to the public. Moreover, both daughter and wife would not have had to prove the other was “evil.” Additionally, the focus would have been on long-term solutions that would meet the needs of the Falk (father/husband), wife, and daughter.
Before filing any paperwork with the court, try mediation or collaborative practice. Litigation will be available if the disputes cannot be resolved through mediation or collaborative practice. In circumstances that require court involvement (no health care directive or power of attorney for finance), mediation or collaborative practice is also encouraged to narrow the issues before going to court, which minimizes court involvement and streamlines the process. Moreover, the court is more likely to approve the family’s request when the family is in agreement.