We are all familiar with the movie scene in which the attorney reads the will of the deceased to the gathered family. Inevitably, there are surprises, drama, and disappointments. Family tensions rise, relationships are damaged, and too often, battles ensue.
Unfortunately, much the same thing often happens in real life. Children and heirs are ill prepared to deal with their inheritance. And too often they have no idea what the actual intentions of the dearly departed actually were. In the midst of their grief, family members are left to sort through big questions about life, love and relationships on their own, and it’s a fertile breeding ground for mistrust, disappointment and worse.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Families can work together to train and mentor the next generation, encourage and equip them to pursue their passions, and share values that will serve them throughout their lives. With openness and transparency, families build trust, strength and bonds that will assist the next generation not just to survive, but to thrive.
Even in cases where planning is not done prior to a death, a team approach to solving family conflicts can often lead to happy and healthy outcomes for surviving family members.Although a few brave people have dreamed of an estate planning process that brings families together, in practice it is rarely achieved. The discipline of the Collaborative Practice model, which has been successfully used for years in divorce cases, provides the tools necessary to bring about true family harmony, strength, and a setting in which family values can be successfully transmitted to the next generation.